


2AM Confessions

by janto321 (FaceofMer)



Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Angst, Confessions, Developing Relationship, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Ficlet, M/M, Nightmares, Post-Reichenbach
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-10-25
Updated: 2013-10-25
Packaged: 2017-12-30 09:50:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 781
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1017158
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FaceofMer/pseuds/janto321
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When he returns, Sherlock has nightmares, but John is always there.</p>
            </blockquote>





	2AM Confessions

John watched the pale figure twitch under the sheets. Before, Sherlock had hardly slept, great swathes of activity and inexhaustible energy. Now though, he slept like a drowning man gulped air. As if he'd never slept for three years. 

Leaning down, John kissed the tangle of curls. Sherlock whimpered and turned to twist around John; a refuge and rock against the sea of nightmares. 

The first time Sherlock woke up screaming John had his gun in his hands, flying down to Sherlock’s room before he was fully awake. The man wouldn't talk about it, tried to assure the doctor he was fine. John had put the gun away and crawled into bed over his objections. A month later and he hadn't passed a night in his own bed. 

Things had changed in that month. John found Sherlock made the tea more often. Sherlock found John would nudge him over on the couch or lay himself along his side. Late one afternoon Sherlock had been gently stroking John’s hair when the other man leaned up and kissed him. The world had stopped, then continued. They were still negotiating this new world, but now instead of John and also Sherlock it had become something else, something even more entwined, like their hands together on the couch.

John held Sherlock’s head against his shoulder. To his shock he felt dampness. Touching Sherlock's cheek he found tears. "Sherlock," he whispered softly. 

For a moment Sherlock clung tighter. John carded his fingers through his hair. "It's okay. I'm here."

Slowly he felt Sherlock shift. "John?" He asked the way a small child seeks comfort. 

"I'm here," he repeated. "Just a bad dream."

Sherlock hugged him tighter before wiping his eyes. “I woke you. I apologize.”

“I was already awake.” It was true. Somehow they’d switched positions and it was John who was awake all hours of the night, thought if he was honest, most often it was watching Sherlock as if making sure he wouldn’t vanish in a dream.

“Should I ask what you were dreaming about?” Most of the time Sherlock would wave him off, tell him it didn’t matter now. Of course John yearned to know, three years was a lot of life to miss. He’d told Sherlock most of the little that had happened to him. He started to get up to make some tea.

“Don’t go,” Sherlock grabbed John’s arm, preventing him from leaving.

John’s heart skipped. He turned around and cupped Sherlock’s face, kissing him deeply, before kissing the damp cheeks. “Talk to me, please.”

Sherlock took a shuddering breath. “I dreamed I returned but you had left. You…had died. Following me.” John was very still. Sherlock noted the stillness, looking into his eyes in the darkness, Adam’s apple bobbing. “John,” he asked thickly. “Please… tell me you did not harm yourself for my sake.”

Long heartbeats of silence told Sherlock what he wanted to know. He grasped John’s wrists as if checking his pulse.

“I never pulled the trigger, Sherlock,” he said at last, “As much as I wanted to join you. I…suppose my will to fight was too strong. And now, of course, I’m so glad I didn’t. I couldn’t imagine leaving you here alone.” John gently grasped his hands and squeezed. “I am here, Sherlock. And I will never leave you.”

“A foolish promise,” Sherlock said softly.

John let go of a hand to cup his cheek again. “I love you, Sherlock.”

Sherlock studied his face again, breath catching. “John…I…”

“Shh…It’s okay.”

Cupping John’s face the way he’d just cupped his own, he leaned in and kissed him quickly. “I love you, John,” he said before he could change his mind.

Tears sprung to John’s own eyes. He leaned in and kissed him tenderly before pulling him into his arms, just holding him close. Their heartbeats mirrored one another. John thought of how close he came, about nights holding the gun in his hands, or walking the streets late at night, just hoping for trouble. Of course he’d been angry when Sherlock returned; but it didn’t take long to realize how much he’d suffered.

Sherlock clung to him, feeling small and frail under John’s hands. John rocked him gently. “I am here, I am here,” he whispered softly in Sherlock’s ear. He lay him back down and held him tightly. “Go back to sleep, I’m right here.”

With a deep breath, Sherlock closed his eyes, still clinging to John, arms wrapped around his broad back. John settled half on top of him, breathing into the crook of his neck. They were here, they were together and that was all that mattered in the world.

**Author's Note:**

> thank you to willie_the_plaid_jacket and inusagi for the helpful suggestions!
> 
> You can find me at [merindab.tumblr.com.](http://merindab.tumblr.com/)


End file.
